Managing Stress During Pregnancy
One of the most stressful things about being pregnant is the idea that you shouldn’t stress. There is a lot of messaging that stress is harmful to the baby. It is extremely beneficial to utilize coping strategies to reduce the impact of stress on the baby
Managing Stress During Pregnancy
Funnily enough, I think one of the most stressful things about being pregnant is the idea that you shouldn’t be stressed. There is so much messaging that stress is harmful to the baby, and often, when you feel overwhelmed, people tell you not to stress too much because it is “not good for the baby.” And then, cue more stress.
The reality is that experiencing stress during pregnancy is normal. Pregnancy brings so many changes and the unknown it would be unrealistic to expect yourself to never feel anxious or overwhelmed.
The good news is that the placenta will protect the baby from common stressors. The concern is when there is above-average stress, and it becomes severe or lasts for long periods of time. Even if the baby is exposed to some stress, finding ways to manage it is extremely beneficial and reduces the impact of the stress on the baby
Deep Breathing
The simplest and most effective tool you can utilize is learning deep breathing techniques to calm the nervous system. Inhaling for four seconds and exhaling for eight seconds is the best way to signal to your body to calm down. Lengthening the exhale signals to your body that you are safe and helps activate the relaxation response.
You can also use breathing exercises alongside meditation, calming music, or mindfulness apps to make this practice part of your daily routine. Practicing deep breathing is very beneficial not just for calming your nervous system during pregnancy, but also for learning pain management tools for childbirth.
Limit Social Media
Social media for expecting mothers can become an unhealthy space. There is an overwhelming amount of information online, and much of it is presented in a way that induces fear or makes you question whether you're doing enough.
Be mindful of the content you are consuming and pay attention to how it makes you feel. It may be helpful to take a break from certain accounts or unfollow content that leaves you feeling anxious or overwhelmed. Instead, seek out supportive and evidence-based resources that leave you feeling informed and empowered.
Prioritize Self-Care
Pregnancy is the time to be very mindful of the energy you are exerting, who you surround yourself with, and how much you can take care of yourself. Find ways to insert self-care into your day, whether that is a walk, a bath, spending time with loved ones, a nap, whatever it is that fuels you.
Caring for yourself during pregnancy is not selfish. Self-care is an important investment in your own wellbeing as you prepare for postpartum.
Therapy
If you are feeling overwhelmed during pregnancy or struggling with anxiety about the changes ahead, therapy can help. Research shows there are great benefits to engaging in therapy during pregnancy to reduce stress. Therapy can help reduce symptoms, establish coping strategies, and help prepare for the postpartum period.
How to Cope With the Fear of Childbirth
While pregnancy brings so much joy and excitement, the anticipation and fear of childbirth can feel like a dark cloud on your pregnancy journey. Childbirth is an unknown, and a lot of it is out of your control. Most of pregnancy is trying your best to trust the process and trust your medical team. While there are aspects of labor that remain outside of your control, there are things you can do to prepare your mind, build a supportive team around you, and develop tools to help you feel more grounded and confident.
While pregnancy brings so much joy and excitement, the anticipation and fear of childbirth can feel like a dark cloud on your pregnancy journey. In movies and TV shows, childbirth is often portrayed as the mother screaming and the partner frantically trying to calm them down. It is seen as a whirlwind of adrenaline, panic, and chaos.
Focus on What You Can Control
Childbirth is an unknown, and a lot of it is out of your control. Most of pregnancy is trying your best to trust the process and trust your medical team. While there are aspects of labor that remain outside of your control, there are things you can do to prepare your mind, build a supportive team around you, and develop tools to help you feel more grounded and confident.
Find Positive Birth Stories and Experiences
I cannot say enough how important it is to harness whatever positivity you can find. Pregnancy and childbirth are hard enough without negativity added to them. As much as you can, make sure that the delivery space is comfortable, and you feel as supported and prepared as you can.
Find all of the positive videos and stories you can and listen to them when you have the time. There is power in hearing someone else have the birth they wanted, and feeling their positive emotions and good energy. It can help you feel calmer and ready for your own due date.
Listen to Positive Affirmations
Search for positive affirmations tailored to preparing for childbirth, and listen to them in the morning and at night. The more your brain hears positive thinking, the more it will start to believe it. Listen and practice saying them to yourself. Feel your mind shift from fear to calm.
Build a Strong Birth Support Team
If it is within your means, see if you can get more support. Would you feel more comfortable with a doula? Are you able to have a loved one there? Is that loved one prepared to help you? There are a lot of resources available to teach your birth partner pain management tools to help support you. The more prepared they feel, the more prepared you feel.
Breathing Techniques for Labor and Delivery
I cannot emphasize enough how powerful deep breathing can be during labor. There is definitive research on how breathing calms your nervous system and reduces tension.
Hypnobirthing by Siobhan Miller teaches different types of breathing techniques to help with the phases of labor. As you prepare for your due date, practice taking a slow breath in for four seconds and exhaling for eight seconds. The more familiar these techniques become, the easier they may be to access when you need them most. And most importantly, trust in its ability to help you feel calm.
Therapy for Pregnancy Anxiety and Fear of Childbirth
If anxiety about childbirth is making it difficult to enjoy your pregnancy, therapy can provide a supportive space to ease your concerns and develop those coping strategies that will help during childbirth and parenthood.
I offer therapy for pregnancy, postpartum adjustment, and perinatal mental health. Sessions are available in person in Livermore and Pleasanton, as well as virtually for residents throughout California. If you're ready for support, contact me for a free consultation to learn more about my services.
How Therapy During Postpartum Can Help
One of the most challenging things about postpartum is the isolation a mother feels, especially when she is experiencing postpartum depression or anxiety. Postpartum hormones and sleep deprivation can make you feel completely alone in your experience and feel that you are failing. One of the most powerful things that can change the postpartum experience is to be told that you are not alone.
One of the most challenging things about postpartum is the isolation a mother feels, especially when she is experiencing postpartum depression or anxiety. Postpartum hormones and sleep deprivation can make you feel completely alone in your experience and feel that you are failing. One of the most powerful things that can change the postpartum experience is to be told that you are not alone.
Just hearing someone else say, “Yes! I went through that too,” is more than enough to lift the mood and realize that what you are experiencing is not crushing failure but part of being human.
There are so many challenges in those first few months, and if you are experiencing them for the first time, it is overwhelming and all-consuming. There’s often an expectation that you will be rocking your newborn, singing them a song, and experiencing “newborn bliss.” And there might be some of that, but there might also be moments that bring lots of tears.
Tears because the baby wouldn’t latch, and you had to give them a bottle
Tears after a fight with your partner that felt absolutely devastating, and you think your marriage might be over.
Tears when you find yourself wondering how something you wanted so badly can feel so incredibly hard.
Postpartum is an experience that is constantly shifting as the baby grows. As soon as you think you’re finally getting on your feet, a sleep regression occurs, or the baby starts teething, and you wonder, “How can I keep going like this?”
Therapy can be the space where you don’t have to hold it all together.
A space where your experience is met with understanding, not judgment.
Maybe what you need is just someone to hear what you’re going through and say, “Yes, that sounds really hard.”
Maybe you need some tools to take with you to help you regulate in those moments of overwhelm.
Maybe you and your partner need a place to reconnect. To find a place where you can figure out roles and expectations, and to share the tough moments as a team.
You do not have to carry it all on your own.
No matter what your experience is, there is support, and there is understanding. There is a light at the end of the tunnel to improve your well-being and your postpartum experience.
I offer walk-and-talk therapy in the Livermore/Pleasanton area, which is one great way to pair your mental health and your physical recovery.
To find out more, visit the page for perinatal mental health.
Baby Blues vs. Postpartum Depression and Anxiety
Baby blues are a common experience in women postpartum. The challenge is that postpartum depression and anxiety are so similar to baby blues. It can be hard to differentiate between the two and know when it is something more. Baby blues are a common experience for women in the postpartum period. The American Pregnancy Association (2026) states that 70-80% of mothers will experience negative feelings or mood swings after the birth of a baby. Baby blues will typically occur about four to five days after giving birth. The symptoms can include crying for no reason, irritability, anxiety, and mood changes.The challenge is that postpartum depression and anxiety are so similar to baby blues. Many women expect to have crying spells and to feel a little weepy, and it can be hard to differentiate between the two and know when it is something more. And a lot of mothers will have the thought that what they are experiencing is normal, or they may feel that what they are feeling makes them a bad mother and a failure. When it comes to baby blues, symptoms should start to improve within a couple of weeks and should come and go throughout the day, according to the American Pregnancy Association (2026). In contrast, postpartum depression or anxiety is persistent and lasts longer than two weeks. Postpartum Support International (2026) shares that perinatal mental health disorders can begin any time during or after pregnancy, and postpartum mental health disorders can occur within one year after the birth of a baby. A lot of the times mothers expect these issues to come up right away, but it can come up at any point within that first year as things change in parenting. The important point is that no matter how far along you are in your parenting journey, you can still be at risk, and you absolutely deserve the help and support you need.
What are the symptoms of Prenatal and Postpartum Depression?
Crying spellsSadndessFeelings of overwhelmIrritability or agitationAngerSleep disturbancesMood swingsApathyExhaustion
Unexpected symptoms of postpartum depression can include:
ManiaIntrusive thoughts and imagesProtectiveness or hypervigilanceSubstance dependence
What are the Symptoms of Prenatal and Postpartum Anxiety?
Panic attacksInsomniaLow appetiteOverwhelming fearsShaky, dizzy, or short of breath
You Don’t Have to Wait Until It Feels “Severe”
If you are experiencing any of these symptoms and they are bringing you distress, it is okay to get help and support. You do not have to suffer alone or in silence. You do not have to wait until things feel “bad enough.” If your pregnancy or postpartum experience is being impacted in a way that doesn’t feel right to you, that alone is a valid reason to reach out for support. Help is available, and you deserve to feel supported during this time.To get started with therapy, contact me for a free consultation
To learn more, visit the perinatal mental health services page
References American Pregnancy Association. (2026). Baby blues after pregnancy. https://americanpregnancy.orgPostpartum Support International. (2026). Perinatal mental health disorders. https://www.postpartum.net